How dare you treat your ex husband as a personal pension plan! It is sickening that the Canadian courts are currently pandering to the wants of vitriolic, selfish bitter old women like yourself…..just because the law is overcompensating, is no excuse for you to trill victoriously with your check in hand, all the way to the bank.

Grow up, get a job, and support yourself. I hope your ex does lose his job, if only so that you will be forced to examine the self-satisfaction thats seeps through your postings like cats on cream.

You don’t deserve a penny of what you are getting, and I say that regardless of your personal circumstances. Nothing justifies your attitude and expectation, nothing.

Lost and stressed out.

Julie

In the spring of 2007 I lost my job – a good, well-paying job that I believed was secure. I’m a health care professional and had worked for many years in a government-funded agency. I was in a senior position and a valued member of the team. The agency is unionized and I was a steward, so I knew my rights inside and out.

Then disaster struck. First I had to go on an extended sick leave. I had no sick days left so I used up my vacation time. I had a long-term disability plan but no short-term, so I had to go on EI sickness benefits, at less than half my salary, when my vacation time ran out. Then the LTD plan denied my claim. My husband’s job (which he hated) paid the mortgage but not our other living expenses. We did have a healthy emergency fund, but it was all gone by the time I was able to return to work. When I tried to go back, my employer fired me, without notice or just cause.
My claim for regular EI benefits was denied because I was fired. I appealed but the hearing did not take place for another 4 months. There were no other openings in my field within a reasonable driving distance. I grieved wrongful dismissal and eventually got a good settlement, but it took almost nine months from the date of termination to reach an agreement, complete all the paperwork and release the money to me. And to make matters just about as bad as they could be, my husband decided to leave his job – without any prospects – two months after I lost mine.

How did we survive? Optimism, openness to opportunity, and networks.

First, with no prospects, I decided to use some of my free time to volunteer at a local non-profit agency. I had just started volunteering there when a position came open unexpectedly. A former coworker’s husband, who was on the board of directors, recommended me for it. It was not in my field, but I could adapt to it; it was very low-paying compared to my former salary, but it would tide me over. And it was a seasonal job, so I’d be free to pursue other opportunities in a few months. I took it and had a blast – and made some good new connections which have already served me well. I continue to be involved with that agency on a volunteer basis.

My husband was recruited by a local company for which he’d previously done some contract work, the day after he left his job. The new job is much better paying and much better suited to his interests and abilities. Again – the network in action.

Meanwhile, colleagues in my profession in other agencies were looking out for me. One gave me a reference, a real boon when I couldn’t use my former employer. They notified me of opportunities arising and I eventually got a temporary position in my own profession. That strengthened ties with those colleagues and again made me more connections.

Now I’m going into business for myself. I’m concerned about the timing given the global economic crisis. But between my husband’s job and my second temporary job, we’ve built up a good safety cushion again. I used my settlement money to pay down part of my mortgage, and used the equity in our home to establish a secured line of credit. Our mortgage is our only debt; I haven’t touched the LOC yet but it’s good to have it there, both in case I need it, and to take advantage of opportunities quickly. My husband’s job looks secure (though we’re considering contigency plans if it disappears too). My network continues to function as I’ve already had several referrals and leads from my colleagues. Things might get tough again, but I’m confident we can make it.

So like Big Cajun Man (whose story I’ve been following – best wishes to you, Bro), I’ve lived this. And I can testify to the benefit of all the advice that I’ve read on this and other blogs – build an emergency fund; minimize your debt; be prepared for the worst, even if you think it could never happen to you; and very important – build a network of support and good will, long before you might need it!